ファンタジー

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Posted on Thursday, August 30, 2007 at 12:59 PM

i'm tired of wearing a mask to every where.why can't i just be myself?i need those mask badly.
they are like a part of me.asked myself,'why must you always pretend?'answer'i don't know'..

it's secondary school life make it worst.flip through those memories,find that i've changed.completely another me,well to me.remembered,sec one,my attitiudes suck,everytimg,just shout like no one care and keep disturbing my friends.in the end,lost everything,the love was gone,friends start to drift away,everything just changed in that one whole year,landed in deep trouble.but this year,things indeed changed.like my attitidues,the way i speak and i type (to me).i remembered,i used to use short form for i way i type,always use double'i'...in the end,changed.well,the credit actually goes to gerald and kerong.if not for them,i might be still using those.they really inspire me.since then start using english,i mean prople english,well,the standard not there yet but i know,i tried.i used to shout (above) but this year i realise i shouted less,i mean,i do shout when i'm angry but not that often,

i used to hang out with jy and bin.i don't mean that they influenced me.is this year i got better with shiyun those girls then jy and bin.like i losing them but gaining someones else.so many things changed this year.been saying lots of big idea things,like those i won't normally said.it's like no one understand,well maybe some but not all.i've been moving from one particular group to another,hoping for a better one,especially in sj.things just got worse and worse.but i shall ignored all,hoping for a change.

i think i'm actually studying,if you know me well,you should know i hate study,but i find that i've been spending more times reading and studying.maybe due to this year,is an important year.been doing what i could to changed,maybe you don't find any changes,that's because you don't know me well,but if you do,that's good.been wanting this and that,last year,i'll just cry till i got it.but this year although i want more things but i just know i have to wait.persever is the best.and now i actually want to work not like last year,slack is all i know.also like know more things of life,felt really close to god esp.just hope everything,everyone will just treat me better and things will work like i wanted.